Most of you won't understand this note. But, I must talk about it. I must put my thoughts inbto writing so I may understand what happened in a two hour time period.
In this time, I thought about love, hate, walls, thoughts, dreams, death, darkness, and lightness. I have told someone that if I could, I would give them my spot in heaven (for they believe I am going and they are not).
I have the understanding that this person may or may not be interested in me, but that is saved for a later meeting that we have agreed to have.
This person has decided to put their trust in me in repairing - or atleast finding out what is wrong - with their soul, so that they may be rid of the darkness.
They told me about their soul, mind, and the symbolism behind some basic things I looked over when I was a child.
They told me they no longer see me as a child, that I have matured, which is a good and bad thing.
We possibly begin the exploring of his darkness on Monday, depending on our availability.
There were other things said, but I don't believe they would be too happy if I were to discuss them on here as I try to piece together my thoughts.
I know not what to make of this. I wish I did, but I don't
Friday, May 25, 2012
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Summer: Day Twenty Four
Okay, I have nothing worth reporting. Just, need to vent out frustrations.
So, I like some guys besides my boyfriend right now. I know, It's bad. They are remaining mostly nameless.But, freaking a**, I feel like crap from Ryan. I never feel good because of him. I always get bashed, and when I try to tell him, I get told I'm causing it myself. Maybe I am, I don't know. I, just wish it didn't hurt . . .
So, I like some guys besides my boyfriend right now. I know, It's bad. They are remaining mostly nameless.But, freaking a**, I feel like crap from Ryan. I never feel good because of him. I always get bashed, and when I try to tell him, I get told I'm causing it myself. Maybe I am, I don't know. I, just wish it didn't hurt . . .
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Summer: Day Twenty
I have had an up and down four days.
Well, Saturday, I hung out with Ryan and played a lot of Majora's Mask at his house, got kinda far on Ocarina of Time
On Sunday, I had the first night of Cross Country. The new people (AKA the 7 of us, including Thomas, Nicole, Sydney, this freshman name Timmy, two girls I don't remember, and I) only ran one lap around Glendoveer park, which is 2 miles. It felt soooooo good, so glad I'm doing it :)
On Monday, it was the fourth of July. I went and hung out with Ryan for about three hours. We walked to this cool bridge on Stark and it was so tight underneath it, but I got caught by stinging nettle. Ouch. Came home after some Blizzards and our family friends, the Vescovi's, came over and we ate and ate and ATE. I was sooooo full. We went out at 10 o'clock to light our fireworks, but there were five houses around us who did the illegal fireworks. We had a great show.
Now, today. Ryan is going on vacation for three or more weeks, partially at the beach, partially at his brother's house in Washington. I'm going to miss him so much.
But, right now, I'm pissed. So, I've been playing Ocarina of Time, and I got to the Forest Temple. I can't save, haven't been worrying about it. Get on about 15 minutes to play, and my screen is black. I can't fix it. So, what does the game do? IT GOES TO THE MAIN MENU!! I have to start completly over . . . I am so angry . . .
Well, Saturday, I hung out with Ryan and played a lot of Majora's Mask at his house, got kinda far on Ocarina of Time
On Sunday, I had the first night of Cross Country. The new people (AKA the 7 of us, including Thomas, Nicole, Sydney, this freshman name Timmy, two girls I don't remember, and I) only ran one lap around Glendoveer park, which is 2 miles. It felt soooooo good, so glad I'm doing it :)
On Monday, it was the fourth of July. I went and hung out with Ryan for about three hours. We walked to this cool bridge on Stark and it was so tight underneath it, but I got caught by stinging nettle. Ouch. Came home after some Blizzards and our family friends, the Vescovi's, came over and we ate and ate and ATE. I was sooooo full. We went out at 10 o'clock to light our fireworks, but there were five houses around us who did the illegal fireworks. We had a great show.
Now, today. Ryan is going on vacation for three or more weeks, partially at the beach, partially at his brother's house in Washington. I'm going to miss him so much.
But, right now, I'm pissed. So, I've been playing Ocarina of Time, and I got to the Forest Temple. I can't save, haven't been worrying about it. Get on about 15 minutes to play, and my screen is black. I can't fix it. So, what does the game do? IT GOES TO THE MAIN MENU!! I have to start completly over . . . I am so angry . . .
Friday, July 1, 2011
Summer: Day Sixteen
Okay, I'm loving Project 64, except for the fact that I CAN'T SAVE!!!
Nothing else to report, maybe later
Nothing else to report, maybe later
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Summer: Day Fifteen
Hey guys!
Well, I woke up at 11:15 this morning to my brother banging on my window. I go and open the front door, and Tristen + his friends Jordan, Christian, Dean, and Lane run in, being loud as hell. They are here for an hour and in that time, I've been called a slut, punched, and forced to do Tristen's chore so he can go hang out with friends. UGH! Well, after that, I went to Ryan's house (Ran into my friend Chad Peterson on the way, that was nice, then got a ride from Ryan's sister Rachel). Four hours of feeling stupid while playing Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask, Rachel gave me a ride home. Now I'm here, and now that I have Project 64 (A cool program that lets me play N64 games on my computer), I'm going to go play some SSB, then some Ocarina of Time. Alright, enjoy your readings
Well, I woke up at 11:15 this morning to my brother banging on my window. I go and open the front door, and Tristen + his friends Jordan, Christian, Dean, and Lane run in, being loud as hell. They are here for an hour and in that time, I've been called a slut, punched, and forced to do Tristen's chore so he can go hang out with friends. UGH! Well, after that, I went to Ryan's house (Ran into my friend Chad Peterson on the way, that was nice, then got a ride from Ryan's sister Rachel). Four hours of feeling stupid while playing Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask, Rachel gave me a ride home. Now I'm here, and now that I have Project 64 (A cool program that lets me play N64 games on my computer), I'm going to go play some SSB, then some Ocarina of Time. Alright, enjoy your readings
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Summer: Day Fourteen
It's 1:28 am. YAY!! So tired, should sleep . . .
Oh, yesterday, got my PR on running of 9 minutes, 2 seconds, and 29 hundredths of a second. Woohoo!
Nothing else to report, goodnight
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Hello again! Now it's about 8:06 PM. Sorry for not posting the past couple days, kinda been busy/lazy. Okay, so I saw Cars 2 two days ago (6/27) and it was fantastic! Saw it with Alex Veeneedaal and Shannon Price. I call her Shan-nn-nn-nn-nn-nn-nn-nn-nn-nn-nn-nn-nn-nn-nn-nngins! It's fun to say. The movie was great, I think the three of us will go see Winnie the Pooh together when that comes out.
Not much happened yesterday (6/28) besides my run with Kyle. Man, I hurt so much after that, my legs were on fire. Man, I love running. 4 more days until XC starts!
Okay, so today was nice. Woke up around 11, then went to Peninsula Park with Ryan and his family at 4. It is this gorgeous park in Portland with lots of roses, so I wore my rose shirt. Ryan and I played Hackey Sack, ate hot dogs + dill pickle chips, and played in the fountain. It was a fantastic day. Nothing to add, good night readers
Oh, yesterday, got my PR on running of 9 minutes, 2 seconds, and 29 hundredths of a second. Woohoo!
Nothing else to report, goodnight
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hello again! Now it's about 8:06 PM. Sorry for not posting the past couple days, kinda been busy/lazy. Okay, so I saw Cars 2 two days ago (6/27) and it was fantastic! Saw it with Alex Veeneedaal and Shannon Price. I call her Shan-nn-nn-nn-nn-nn-nn-nn-nn-nn-nn-nn-nn-nn-nn-nngins! It's fun to say. The movie was great, I think the three of us will go see Winnie the Pooh together when that comes out.
Not much happened yesterday (6/28) besides my run with Kyle. Man, I hurt so much after that, my legs were on fire. Man, I love running. 4 more days until XC starts!
Okay, so today was nice. Woke up around 11, then went to Peninsula Park with Ryan and his family at 4. It is this gorgeous park in Portland with lots of roses, so I wore my rose shirt. Ryan and I played Hackey Sack, ate hot dogs + dill pickle chips, and played in the fountain. It was a fantastic day. Nothing to add, good night readers
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Summer: Day Eleven
Well, guys, it's currently 12:12 am, I can't seem to type, and I'm crying again.
I was on the phone with Justin and Mack and Justin was talking about how I'm not going to be able to hold up my sex goal (to stay a virgin until marriage) if I'm with him. I said I wasn't going to date him because I'm with Ryan, and he said "Well B, not every breakup is planned". All of us got silent, because the words sunk in and we were all realizing how it was said and how each of us took it. Mack in a "Oh dude, bad move", Justin in a "Ah shit, what did I just say?", and me in a "God dammit" because I was crying. So much pain still. Justin was smart and left, not wanting me to cry more. I basically poured my heart out to Mack, crying harder. Mack comforted me well, but now it's gonna be a long night . . .
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Alright, now it's 10:05, and I feel somewhat better. Cried my eyes out until I feel asleep, which took about 2 hours or so. Well, today is going to be better. Still can't seem to spell, but I'm gonna go work the Snack Shack at the Baseball fields for my Dad, who is the President of the Little League here. Everyone is gonna help. Will most likely write about how that went. For now, goodbye traveler
I was on the phone with Justin and Mack and Justin was talking about how I'm not going to be able to hold up my sex goal (to stay a virgin until marriage) if I'm with him. I said I wasn't going to date him because I'm with Ryan, and he said "Well B, not every breakup is planned". All of us got silent, because the words sunk in and we were all realizing how it was said and how each of us took it. Mack in a "Oh dude, bad move", Justin in a "Ah shit, what did I just say?", and me in a "God dammit" because I was crying. So much pain still. Justin was smart and left, not wanting me to cry more. I basically poured my heart out to Mack, crying harder. Mack comforted me well, but now it's gonna be a long night . . .
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Alright, now it's 10:05, and I feel somewhat better. Cried my eyes out until I feel asleep, which took about 2 hours or so. Well, today is going to be better. Still can't seem to spell, but I'm gonna go work the Snack Shack at the Baseball fields for my Dad, who is the President of the Little League here. Everyone is gonna help. Will most likely write about how that went. For now, goodbye traveler
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